Read this MSTing.
Short: John L. Flynn speculates as to what the at-the-time recently announced Star Wars prequels will be about, and he's not limited to, as he says, "mere fantasy and speculation." No, Flynn has read the novelisations, and he's also sure that "Obi-Wan" is another name for "OB-1," the clone of somebody with the initials O.B.
Movie: More or less contradicting what he wrote in the short, John L. Flynn presents something pretty much like his story treatment for Star Wars Episode III, dated "September 6, 1983." Anakin Skywalker is burned to a crisp and rebuilt as Darth Vader by cloaked ghosts, Obi-Wan Kenobi manages to be late for the big battle all the other Jedi are killed in, the undeveloped Tars Courtney is killed and the equally undeveloped Captain Antilles survives, and the Emperor beats up on Prince Valarium and then kills him to make a point. There's no use of the awesome if unpredictable power of merchandising, but at least there are plenty of docking bays and even some nebulae.
Host Segments: Prologue: Mike over-emphasises that it's April 1999. The bots presume it's his birthday, and prepare to party like it's 1999.
Segment One: Pearl calls from the line to get out of a Star Wars convention, angry that she's been standing in the rain and intent on spoiling all three prequels for our heroes.
Segment Two: The bots discuss how to punch up the prequels a bit. Pearl, angered further by Observer giving her a cup of Diet Pepsi, presents the script treatment.
Segment Three: Mike asks the nanites to build him a Death Star. What with nanite scales and Resistance Fronts, it doesn't go that well, but at least they're not stuck with it.
Segment Four: Crow questions Mike's political alignment and Tom discovers what happened to John L. Flynn. Pearl gets the Star Wars fans mad at her.
Stinger: Just what the Emperor needs.
Reflections: When Matt Blackwell announced that he was planning a group MSTing of a fake Star Wars story treatment I had heard about years before, I immediately asked to be included. My motives, however, were to some degree selfish. Having committed the horrific blasphemy of enjoying the real first prequel and emerging depressingly free of hate, I planned to compound my crimes through shamefully tolerant riffs.
When the riffs were edited to set the MSTing in April 1999, though, some of my points were changed subtly to not quite what I had intended. I suppose that's what you get for trying. Still, the MSTing didn't come across to me as too terribly bitter, and other people seem to have enjoyed it as well, as it was nominated in the Web Site #9 MSTing Awards for "Best Group MSTing" for the year 2000. And, in the end, I found the treatment I had signed up partly just to see genuinely fun in a bland, predictable, and undeveloped kind of way.